I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
