he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
