Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
