someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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