girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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