Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
