wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
