I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
