did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How naked do you want me to be?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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