I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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