i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
