I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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