there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
