Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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