So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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