He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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