it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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