Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Still dying that you shit outside
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
