Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
