70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
