so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
