I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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