i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I love you. Go after that dick
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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