I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
