The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
