I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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