What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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