Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
