Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
