And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
