I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
