Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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