the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
