i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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