is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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