The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
