You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
