i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
