i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
