I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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