There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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