Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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