thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
