OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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