belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We need a shit load of segways right now
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
