so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
