He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
