I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
