we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
