So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
