My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
