I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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